butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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