After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
