I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
