Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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