I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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