I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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