You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
