He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
When are your genitals available?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize