So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
