All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well I just put wine in my tea
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
PANTIES FOUND
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
