i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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