I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
