I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
