NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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