So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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