Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I got inside last night via doggy door
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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