We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
