Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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