i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
