Ketchup is God's man juice
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
