The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
