yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
