who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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