Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
