your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
