that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
