I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize