Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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