I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Bring me that man meat
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
