Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
