I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
either way he was missing a nipple.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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