Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize