Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
