can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
