I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
