just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
