You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize