careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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