you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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