Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
