It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
