I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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