Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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