Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize