My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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