This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize