My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize