did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
