My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize