I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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