i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We are two peas in an std pod
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Randomize
