hell yes lets make some ravioli
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Two words: blizzard sex
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
