her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
