We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my shit smells like andre
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
