Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
