I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
