She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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