'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
