I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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