she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
