I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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